An Unexpected Lesson
by Allison Watts, DDS
Two and a half years ago, we were at a team retreat. The morning of the first day, while doing a physical team-building challenge, I landed wrong and tore my ACL. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me! I’ve been a dancer and an athlete my whole life and during a simple teambuilding exercise (how embarrassing!), I completely destroyed my ACL. After the initial shock, I tried to get up thinking I was fine and fell right back down, pretty much completely helpless.
Here I am, the leader, thinking I’m strong and leading my team into this exercise and this two-day retreat and this happens. Funny how life teaches us things… So, my team basically carries me back to the cabin and we spent the rest of the two days talking and learning about vulnerability and the unspoken culture of our practice. Being the leader, I had set the example and the emotional tone of the practice and it was vulnerability is not okay; vulnerability equals weakness.
During the retreat, my hygienist of fourteen years shared with me that she now saw all those years of “be tough” and “whatever it takes, push through it” mentality as fear-based. She also said that that weekend, while I was being highly vulnerable, was actually the strongest she’d ever experienced me. The retreat ended up being great and exactly what we needed. The lessons and gifts of vulnerability continued long after the retreat ended. It was one of the hardest times in my life as I walked on crutches for weeks (if you’ve never done it, walking on crutches is really hard!) and noticed the way I was treated when I was “handicapped”, lost some of my independence and had to depend on those around me a lot more than I was used to.
Here are the top ten lessons learned and gifts I received from this time of “forced” vulnerability (in no particular order):
1. Increased trust of those around me, I felt more supported and loved than ever
2. Increased trust in God and miracles
3. My business didn’t fall apart without me-I noticed feelings of security and stability.
4. The realization that I am strong and I am vulnerable. Also that my body is not infallible.
5. I do need other people.
6. Walking is an amazing miracle that we can’t consciously do.
7. “Stand” is a word used very often that symbolizes a lot of things. Noticing this gave me some real insights into myself and all the things I take for granted.
8. I can listen to the small messages telling me to slow down without having to experience the giant 2×4 over the head!
9. It gave me a lot more compassion for people with injuries, illnesses and disabilities and the beauty of people helping and caring for each other when we are in need. Some judgments I had were abolished instantly!
10. I now know that vulnerability equals real human connection and that I was cutting myself off from this.
Writing this today helped me realize that although I learned these things and thought them forever imprinted on my psyche, heart and soul, I have slowly let myself slip back closer to my “old self”. It inspires me to remember and to open up more and more to that quality of vulnerability that I was so afraid of. I thought being vulnerable made my look weak, but it actually did the opposite. It is actually a leadership quality… or it should be! One of my greatest wishes is to help people change their lives. Cutting myself off from my own vulnerability and humanity gets in the way of deep connection with others and cuts me off from my calling!
I think the power in vulnerability is to allow ourselves to feel the feeling without being a victim. We are vulnerable, but we are also powerful beyond belief. We can help others grow and change and see their potential if we can “get” where they are. They know if we get them because they feel connected with us; they only feel connected if we are real with them. When we are real, at least some part of us is vulnerable.
Here is your quest: Encourage someone today—real heart to heart encouragement.
Please take a minute to share with me on my Facebook page what you are going to do to inspire or encourage someone today!!
Or, leave a comment below. I would love to hear what's on your mind!!
Wow, what a powerful article. Reading it brought back some really great memories of that day. I was truly blessed to work with Allison, watch her grow in love, strength and as a leader. I got tears in my eyes remembering that moment. Thank you Allison for helping me grow and for leaving a permanent imprint on my heart so that I can pass it on to others.