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This week on the Practicing with the Masters<\/em> podcast, I am honored and excited to invite\u00a0a consultant and psychotherapist, Brian DesRoches, Ph.D.\u00a0He\u00a0is a facilitator of several nationally-known workshops, as well as\u00a0an internationally-published author of\u00a0Your Boss is<\/em>\u00a0Not Your Mother<\/em>, \u00a0Reclaiming Yourself <\/em>and his latest book, Engage, Influence and Prosper: A New Paradigm for Success and Happiness<\/em>\u00a0that will be released soon.<\/p>\n Brian has worked with dental practices for over 18 years providing consulting, coaching and conducting workshops\u00a0and presentations around the country. His innovative approach that\u00a0integrates\u00a0latest research and neuroscience with practical skills provides a unique and powerful process for experiencing a high-performing, profitable and fulfilling practice.<\/p>\n On this episode, Brian focuses on the skill of managing your own emotional state\u00a0and\u00a0internal experience in a way that allows you\u00a0to influence others positively. \u00a0Listen in for\u00a0Brian\u2019s tips and easy-to-follow advice on how you can start influencing your patients’ outcomes simply by controlling your own emotions.<\/p>\n Welcome to Practicing with the Masters<\/em> for dentists with your host, Dr. Allison Watts. Allison believes that there are four pillars for a successful, fulfilling dental practice: clear leadership, sound business principles, well-developed communication skills, and clinical excellence. Allison enjoys helping dentists and teams excel in all of these areas. Each episode she brings you an inspiring conversation with another leading expert. If you desire to learn and grow and in the process take your practice to the next level, then this is the show for you. Now, here\u2019s your host, Dr. Allison Watts.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Welcome to Practicing with the Masters<\/em> podcast. I\u2019m your host, Allison Watts, and I\u2019m dedicated to bringing you masters in the field of dentistry, leadership, and practice management to help you have a more fulfilling and successful practice and life.<\/p>\n Welcome everybody, those who are here live and those who are listening recorded. We are so thrilled to have you here. This is the Transformational Leadership call with Brian DesRoches. I am just excited to have you here, Brian. I\u2019m honored and excited.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know how many years ago now that was that I met you for the first time but when I went to Frank\u2019s courses and met you, I decided I needed to have Brian in my life because if he was good enough for Frank, he was good enough for me [laughs].<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thank you for this opportunity, Allison. I appreciate it.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, I\u2019m so excited to have you here and I know that your work has evolved since I took the leadership course. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s much different because I know you’re constantly learning and learning about the new research. Those of you who don\u2019t know Brian, and even those of you who do know Brian, you may know all of this already but I\u2019m going just go ahead and do a formal introduction.<\/p>\n Brian is a Ph.D. He\u2019s a consultant, a psychotherapist, and does nationally-known workshops. He\u2019s the facilitator of a couple of different workshops, you can tell us a little bit about that, Brian. He\u2019s also an internationally published author. Dr. DesRoches has worked with dental professionals for over eighteen years providing consulting, coaching, and workshops. He\u2019s facilitated presentations and workshops for study clubs and dental practices around the country.<\/p>\n His innovative approach to integrating the latest research in neuroscience with practical skills provides the unique and powerful process for experiencing a high-performing, profitable, and fulfilling practice. He developed and facilitates the Practice Leadership course, that\u2019s a workshop, right?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, you betcha.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Then, Optimizing your Influence in Patient Relationships course. He\u2019s the author of three books now. I remember when Your Boss is Not Your Mother <\/em>came out. That was when I was working with you back in \u201995.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201995, yep.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s been published in six languages now. Then he also has Reclaiming Yourself<\/em> and his newest book which, is it already out or is it coming?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Not out yet.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, not out yet. That one\u2019s called Engage, Influence and Prosper: A New Paradigm for Success and Happiness<\/em>. I’d like to hear about that book but I don\u2019t know if we\u2019ll have time today. But I know you’re going to teach us some of the tools that are probably in the book.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, I can talk about them.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, I\u2019m so excited to have you. We did our prep call on Monday and just thrilled with what you have to share with us. Is there a particular area you want to start? Do you want to start with the Level One and Level Two?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, yes, let me start with this. One of the things that, one, the opportunity that working with the dental profession has given me is to learn a lot about complex organizations and complex systems. If there\u2019s ever a complex system on the planet, families, churches, and dental practices probably fit the bill. They\u2019re just, they\u2019re very different complex, when you think of the number of services, it\u2019s like a mini General Motors.<\/p>\n To put together all the services that are needed, customer service, scheduling, production, you name it, in a relatively small group of people to provide an essential healthcare service. It is really in many ways quite a feat. It takes a lot of focus, a lot of intention, a lot of planning, a lot of management and leadership both. I’ve had the opportunity of working with great dentists over these several years and learning a lot in the process about the process of leadership and the process of management in those complex systems.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, and you say that both of them are important.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh, definitely. I tell dentists when they contact with me about a workshop that looking at a dental practice from two levels\u2014or leadership, just operating an organization with two levels has been a very helpful way, a model, or a prototype, or a paradigm to think about leadership.<\/p>\n That Level One is what we measure. It\u2019s results. It\u2019s human behavior. If you can measure it, see it, and quantify it, it\u2019s a Level One phenomenon. That\u2019s where practice management happens. That\u2019s the level of protocols, procedures, financial results, feedback. The kinds of systems that are needed clinically, administratively, and technically to produce a great service and a great product. So that\u2019s absolutely essential. What I tell all my clients is that there are very good people that do that very, very well. I don\u2019t do that. That\u2019s not my area of expertise. There\u2019s many people that do it much better and I refer to them whenever I encounter those kinds of questions because it\u2019s not where I have my expertise and my skills.<\/p>\n I hang out at what I call Level Two. Level Two is the emotional process that has a lot to do with leadership. If Level One is about management and compliance, which is very much what it\u2019s about, and follow up. Level Two is about how does one induce or generate commitment. How do you get people to follow? Whether it be the patients, your team members, even family members because the process of leadership is one that influences all of us in our relationships and is essential.<\/p>\n So at Level Two there\u2019s this process of emotional influence. I liken it to Einstein\u2019s great quote, \u201cThe significant problems we have created cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them.\u201d So thinking at Level Two is a different kind of thinking as opposed to linear cause and effect. It\u2019s very circular. That can confound some of us sometimes.<\/p>\n That leadership, we are in a field of influence. Influencing and being influenced and how does one optimize that process in relationships? So I focus on Level Two. The skill of managing one\u2019s own emotional state, the internal experience, in such a way as to be able to engage skills and engaging those skills and applying them to be able to influence others in a positive way. That\u2019s the prosper part. You know?<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thriving and growing in a healthy way is what prosperity is. That\u2019s where I focus, is Level Two I call it.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay. Can you say something about the field of influence? You’re talking about the field of influence from us as the dentist to the other people but also it feels like it\u2019s just a big energy field almost.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If anyone is familiar with quantum physics, the field of influence in quantum physics is the relationship that little quanta, little energy packets, have with each other. As a result of that relationship with each other, produce everything that we see that we call the universe. It\u2019s in a field of influence. Those field of influence can be millions and millions of miles apart or they can be three inches apart. The same process happens with us as human beings. In our relationships we create a field of influence. That is, my internal experience, my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and physical sensations are influenced by your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensations. That\u2019s just a process none of us can escape as long as we\u2019re alive and breathing. We are influenced by others and we influence others. The process of being able to, in that field, being able to manage one\u2019s internal experience is the process of being able to optimize that influence.<\/p>\n Let me give you an example. You\u2019ve been thinking about having a meeting with your team about you want to introduce some new systems. You think about the meeting and all of a sudden some anxiety comes up. You want to ignore it and set this anxiety aside. You know, that\u2019s a natural phenomenon. You go into the meeting and you attempt\u2014one attempts to communicate without being anxious but in the field that is created within that relationship, the other, if you will, organisms, the other human beings in that field, their nervous systems will pick up that anxiety.<\/p>\n It will interfere with their capacity to listen, to learn, to change. They\u2019ll pick it up through their filters. Likewise, if you’re with a patient who is anxious let\u2019s say because anxiety is so contagious, you will catch that anxiety. Then what do you do? Try to fight it? How do you manage that anxiety in such a way as to be able to influence the patient positively?<\/p>\n So that\u2019s that field of influence that we all participate in in our practices, in our relationships, in our families, in our friendships, all the time. To understand it, that is to be able to see it for what it is and know that if one has the skills or the capacities to manage that influence, which is happening anyway, it gives you\u2014I\u2019m going to call it gives you some advantages in terms of being able to deal with all of the stuff that happens in a practice. The unpredictabilities and the challenges, the emotional challenges to a great degree as well as in other relationships, the field of influence it\u2019s called.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So okay, the anxiety is there.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The tendency is to want to resist it but I think we\u2019ve all heard what you resist, persists.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, there\u2019s a phenomenon in neuroscience called attention density. That is when we focus on something, even in our attempt to resist it, we\u2019re actually focusing on it. Paradoxically, we are strengthening the neural network associated with that which we are paying attention to because even if I don\u2019t want to think about something, I\u2019m paying attention to it.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re kind of caught there in terms of what I ignore, I push away, I\u2019m actually strengthening within my brain.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So when you feel that anxiety come up, what are the skills or what are the steps to know that that\u2019s somebody else\u2019s and then to manage your own internal state so that you can positively influence the other person?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Been working on this for years and years and I break it down to three basically. The first one is the capacity to, what many people call mindfulness. I prefer to call it just observation, self-observation. From the Latin word observare<\/em>, to watch over. So observing oneself and becoming, \u201cWhat\u2019s happening in my body?\u201d<\/p>\n Then the capacity to have an intention. What I mean by that is to have a predetermined way that I want to experience myself with others. When I say a predetermined way, I have actually created for myself a set of memories that I can redirect myself to to remember that when I\u2019m feeling incompetent or feeling challenged or feeling people are ignoring me. The patient is not paying attention. My team doesn\u2019t think what I\u2019m saying is important. Whatever thoughts and emotions, emotional thought patterns get triggered in relationships.<\/p>\n It is incumbent upon, I would suggest, the leader to redirect the internal experience toward a positive state. That is to pay attention. To direct attention at that point in time to what my intention for my own experience is. This is where it\u2019s a little bit different thinking because it\u2019s very self-referential as opposed to other-referential, when I look out there and I want to change them. I think most of us have had the experience of how futile that is even though we keep trying to do it.<\/p>\n Much more effective, if I can change my internal experience and that will influence the other person in the field of influence. It\u2019s very powerful. It\u2019s called interpersonal neurobiology and there\u2019s a lot of research going on around it.<\/p>\n So first is to observe. Second is to recall or remember, \u201cWhat is my intention?\u201d And a positive memory of oneself because memory is state-dependent. And secondly, directing my attention to that memory as opposed to the nervous or the anxiety or the negative experience that I may be having at that point in time.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, so number three is direct the attention to that memory?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Attention, yes. So it\u2019s observation, intention, attention. The word attention means to stretch out. The word intention means to stretch in, are the origin of those words. So I stretch in and I pull out of myself, what is my intention to experience myself based on memory? Then I stretch out in terms of being able to express that by then remembering it.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cool. Just to keep going, I\u2019ll ask you about this remembering the positive memory of yourself.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So how do you\u2026 so I don\u2019t know if we have a call long enough for this conversation [laughs]. How do you create a positive memory of yourself?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 [Laughs] All of us have them. We all have positive memories of ourselves doing something really well, feeling very good. That moment when you go, \u201cOh, I got it.\u201d That experience when a patient is very complimentary and says, \u201cThank you so much.\u201d Some of us, it\u2019s not unusual to kind of, \u201cOh, that\u2019s nothing, it\u2019s nothing.\u201d And we don\u2019t take the time then to allow that experience to soak in in terms of our brain.<\/p>\n In other words, my observation is that because the brain is fear based, because it\u2019s a survival mechanism, it wants us to survive until tomorrow, we have to be very intentional about remembering and strengthening the positive internal states that we experience instead of automatically strengthening the negatives, which happens so quickly and so automatically in a dental practice and in an anxious world.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So you’re literally talking about any positive memory that we have that\u2019s happened to us? Yeah, okay.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah and actually I recommend people\u2026 most people have one or two, at least.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If not, you can create them. For example, when I am working with my clients and I begin to feel or experience their anxiety, then it is incumbent upon me at that point in time and my responsibility to them but to myself is to remember, \u201cI\u2019m competent. I\u2019m capable. I can handle things. I trust myself under any situation or circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n And to allow myself to feel the truth of that so that I can be present. That\u2019s my first obligation, in my belief, to the people that, to anyone, my family members, my clients, you on the phone, we\u2019re talking here. That\u2019s the first and foremost thing. Otherwise, if I\u2019m not able to do that, I can\u2019t be present the way I want to.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right, well you can get hijacked by their stuff.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Precisely, precisely. That\u2019s what happens is many of us don\u2019t\u2014there\u2019s ways to deal with that emotional hijacking processes as Daniel Goleman called it in Emotional<\/em> Intelligence<\/em>. One of the predominant ways is to redirect one\u2019s focus and build those powerful, beneficial, positive memories of oneself.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Then practice it. It works. State-dependent memory is what it\u2019s called and all memory is state dependent. Once you can do that, your capacity to engage people increases significantly.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cool. So really it sounds like the key, at least in my mind when I\u2019m sitting here listening to you, is to be self-aware enough to realize that you are feeling something.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right. That\u2019s the first criteria is to be aware of your somatic markers. Some people get a tight stomach. Some people they get \u2026 you know, there\u2019s all kinds. They\u2019re called somatic markers that mark the soma uniquely to each of us and tells us we\u2019re in a negative emotional state.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Then it seems like over my lifetime it has been sort of challenging I guess because what you’re saying is the emotional system is we can hold feel other people\u2019s emotions. It\u2019s been hard for me to tell which ones are mine and which ones are theirs. It doesn\u2019t matter though, right?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No, it doesn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The intention is just to bring yourself back to your own competency and your own wellbeing.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Precisely.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 There are two things. One, if we look at leadership in itself, the origin of the word. It\u2019s an eighth century word from Old English, ledenshippe, L-E-D-E-N-S-H-I-P-P-E. What the word means, or the origin of it means, a state of being, that\u2019s the \u201cshippe\u201d part. Leden means to cause others to go with one. So the origin of leadership, its eighth-century origin, was a state of being that causes others to go with one.<\/p>\n Well one of the phenomenon we know in all organic systems in nature, and particularly in human relationships, is people are naturally, the body, the organism is naturally attracted and moves towards that which is positive. The body withdraws from or tries to push away when they have a negative experience. It\u2019s emotional physics. So the more that I can maintain a relatively neutral or positive experience, I increase the likelihood of people moving in the direction in which I\u2019m engaging them.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This is what came up for me is the idea of positive affirmations, that you say these positive things to yourself. But then if you really don\u2019t believe them then how\u2026? I don’t know, I just feel like there\u2019s a little bridge there between saying positive things to yourself. You’re remembering\u2026<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right. I get this question often, \u201cWell that\u2019s just affirmations.\u201d Well I don\u2019t know about the audience that\u2019s listening but my experience of affirmations has been that my body oftentimes will argue with me, my nervous system.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, that\u2019s what I was thinking.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right and the reason that is is that if there\u2019s no pattern or neural network that is significant or strengthened enough to place that belief system, then the body is going to do what a body does naturally, which we call resistance to change. It\u2019s going to push it away. So there\u2019s no such thing as resistance to change, all there is is there\u2019s no pattern for the change that one wants to make. So the body resists it because there\u2019s no pattern internally in the nervous system.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So affirmation combined with memory, which is essential because that\u2019s the state-dependent part, that\u2019s what fires and wires the neural network, is the important part.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay. So you’re just building new neural pathways, stronger than the negative ones.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Amen. And not only building them, what you’re doing is in many ways you’re linking them with the negative. So that when the negative gets triggered, because of the linking process that happens in the brain, the positive will also get stimulated.<\/p>\n I remember as one dentist said to me, he said, \u201cBrian, I\u2019m becoming aware that I have a choice. I can go to heaven or I can go to hell. It\u2019s my choice and it happens inside of me. Sometimes I will still choose hell.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, okay.\u201d We all have choices. But to have the choice is what\u2019s important. The choice is the matter of what the new neuroscience is saying of creating neural networks of information and energy associated with positive states that can be referenced when the environment, the world, what people do, triggers negative states in me.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cool.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And it works. The neuroscience is there. What\u2019s amazing is that it actually works. Then when you combine that with skills that enable you to influence in a positive way the brains of others and to put it matter-of-factly, that\u2019s what you’re doing. You’re changing their nervous system. I would suggest to all the listeners that what leadership is, it\u2019s changing other people\u2019s nervous systems. I mean, it sounds pretty practical, but that\u2019s what it is.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, it sounds practical but it sounds kind of weird.<\/p>\n [Laughter]<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s the weirdest part?<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I don’t know, when you say you’re changing their nervous system.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You are.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I mean, I get it. You are because you’re influencing their state of being.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Exactly.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right, yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I remember being at a presentation once talking about optimizing influence with patients and I was talking about the fact that influence was going on in the room right now with all of them and with me and then with each other. One of the dentists got upset. He got up and he said, \u201cYou cannot influence me. You cannot do that.\u201d I looked at him and I said, \u201cYou know what? I just did.\u201d<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 [Laughs]<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The reaction in and of itself is a function of the field of influence.<\/p>\n Allison: \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And it wasn\u2019t intentional on my part, it just happened to be what happened.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, wow. So one of the things we talked about the other day that I wanted you to speak about was the I-based communication.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You get into that deeper.\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve heard people say, \u201cSpeak from an I.\u201d What I\u2019ve heard it is more like, don\u2019t say, \u201cYou did this and you did that.\u201d Or, \u201cYou should do this.\u201d It was more of that kind of thing. But you’re talking about having your own, I guess how I interpreted it was knowing what you think, knowing what you believe. Like standing up for yourself and speaking, right?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One of the things\u2026<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Taking responsibility.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It is. It\u2019s interesting to listen because my belief and observation is is that leadership is about an I. It\u2019s not about we. Because we is the big hideout for irresponsibility. When somebody says, \u201cWe can\u2019t communicate.\u201d Who\u2019s we? Who\u2019s the we? Then who\u2019s going to change the we? Wes do not change. Wes develop patterns in which they’re stuck. So I-based communication is based on this is what I\u2019m thinking, this is what I\u2019m observing, this is what I\u2019m aware of and it facilitates. Using I-based communication facilitates and stimulates the frontal cortex of the people to whom you’re communicating.<\/p>\n Now, the importance of that is is that\u2019s where thinking happens. It doesn\u2019t happen in the back of the brain and it certainly doesn\u2019t happen in the emotional brain. It happens in the frontal cortex. So as much as possible, I want to express my thinking, my concrete observations of things, my awareness of something. Then inquire, become curious, about the observations of those individual others to engage their frontal cortex. So people-based.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh, you’re not going to speak here about your feelings. This is more just like stating the facts.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s stating the facts but it\u2019s also where\u2014I mean, I can state the facts and be in a very rigid emotional state. We\u2019ve all experience that where people say, \u201cWell this is the way it is.\u201d Their emotions are driving; they’re not thinking when they say that. When people do that, there\u2019s no thinking going on. They’re driven by their emotions and so they’re using either conflictual or avoidant pattern behavior that is anchored in that negative state. That\u2019s very different than me saying, \u201cWell, when I see this, when I observe this, when you ask me that question, this is what my thinking is. This is what I\u2019m thinking about.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019m emotionally influenced at that point in time because I can\u2019t not be but I want to engage the thinking process as much as possible. And Allison, I love feelings. On the Myers-Briggs I\u2019m an ENFJ. I\u2019ll be the first to tell you I think feelings are wonderful but if the basis for making decisions and communication, I mean it\u2019s part of it. But in terms of leadership, using I-based approaches, observation, concrete, engaging the frontal cortex in a neutral or relatively positive state, when you do that, it positively influences the person to whom or persons to whom you’re talking. And allows them to move towards, allow them to engage their thinking.<\/p>\n So it\u2019s I-based speaking, I-based listening. Most people think communication, listening is you. I have to listen to you. But if we looked at the neuroscience of how listening happens, sound waves come in, the emotional brain processes them like a pinball machine. If you ever find yourself distracted when somebody is talking to you, it\u2019s because your emotional brain is doing the pinball. It\u2019s just stimulating all kinds of memories.<\/p>\n I-based listening is directing your frontal cortex to pay attention to and be present to the sounds, the images, and the words that the person is saying. It actually is directing your frontal cortex to do it because that\u2019s where listening happens. It doesn\u2019t happen in the emotional brain.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wow.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah. Being able to do that allows you to for example create emotional vacuums instead of filling the space between people. Like say you and a patient, or you and one of your team members, instead of filling it with frustration or anxiety or disappointment, the three major negative states that we get into: anxiety, frustration, and disappointment. Instead of filling the space, which allows no room for someone to move towards you, you’re able to create a vacuum. That vacuum will be filled by people thinking and moving towards you.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay and so can you tie\u2014because I asked you the question about the I-based but it just kind of popped in my head while you were talking about the changing people\u2019s nervous system.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right, changing their brain.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Optimizing our influence. So can you tie all of that together?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah. My profession, the profession that I\u2019m in, coaching and consulting and as a psychotherapist is to help people change their brains. Help people change their patterns of thinking, their patterns of relating, is to help them develop new patterns. Not by necessarily changing the old ones but by developing new ones and strengthening those. It\u2019s the same thing with team members or in any relationship that we\u2019re in, patterns develop.<\/p>\n Everyone on this phone knows there are patterns in their practice, some of which work and some of which don\u2019t. They know there are patterns that they have, patterns of relating, patterns of dealing with difficult patients or an empty hole in the schedule that induces a reaction and there\u2019s a pattern. So the question is does the patterns that I have developed serve me well? Move me in a positive direction? Or are they patterns that I’ve strengthened that are in fact are negative? They’re not a positive influence in my life. It\u2019s not about focusing on the negative, it\u2019s about creating and developing positive patterns.<\/p>\n So in answer to your question, with that context, in any situation or relationship where there\u2019s communication, such as on the phone right now with you and I. I am aware that there are people listening and I do want to positively influence them. I want to. Even though I can\u2019t see them, I want to positively engage them. One of the things important to do that is to be able to communicate in ways that make sense.<\/p>\n One of the things I’ve learned in working with the dental profession, they’re high S on the Myers-Briggs if people are familiar with it. That is concrete and specific and that\u2019s helped me to learn a lot. So very practical skills that are concrete and specific.<\/p>\n But let\u2019s say I\u2019m with a patient or you’re with a patient, Allison, and the patient seems to be not paying attention. You’re making a case presentation, it\u2019s important to you. You put a lot of work in it. You notice the patient, you know, sometimes you look in their eyes and they’re not there anymore. You don\u2019t know where they are but you know they’re not there.<\/p>\n That induces oftentimes a state of anxiety in one watching that. At that point in time that anxiety will be picked up by that patient and it will induce an even further withdrawal. And oftentimes then we resort to trying harder, communicating more, trying to get a point across at that point in time. Filling in the space.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When the most effective thing to do that I would suggest at that point in time is to back off, become aware, and express what you\u2019re thinking. Example, \u201cGee, Allison, I am aware that I have been sharing a lot of information with you. Let me tell you what I\u2019m thinking. I\u2019m thinking that this may be more than you want to hear right now and I’m wondering how I best can communicate what I see in the treatment plan in a way that works for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Okay? I-based. And I guarantee you, if you do that, well I can\u2019t guarantee but I\u2019d say the probability is 95 percent that what will happen is that you will stimulate the frontal cortex of that person. They will come out of their trance. They will be able to engage. You can then use a process called externalization, which is to take it out of the field and form a third link. I mean, literally I have people put their hand out.<\/p>\n It\u2019s what happens in a treatment plan. You’re externalizing the discussion so you can focus on something outside of the relationship because there may be anxiety in it. So you’re externalizing. That works very very well so much of the time. It\u2019s to balance it because if one person in the dyad, two people, if one person is anxious that is literally in family systems it is an unstable system. The way you stabilize it is by externalizing the problem or the issue or the discussion. You talk about it as if it\u2019s separate from but still part of, like a tripod. There\u2019s no such thing as a two-legged tripod, there\u2019s a third leg.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So you’re saying by saying, \u201cI\u2019m thinking that\u201d and you describe it. Then you say, \u201cI\u2019m wondering, I\u2019m thinking that I\u2019m giving you too much information.\u201d Did you do that right there? You externalized it.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Exactly. That\u2019s what externalization is is I\u2019m saying what I\u2019m thinking, I\u2019m getting it outside of the relationship. But it\u2019s still part of it. But I\u2019m expressing my thinking so that that brain right there is aware of my thinking, its images, and thoughts and comes out of its trance.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When you were in the place of the patient was anxious and then you caught the anxiety and you started doing that trying harder thing. Your step right there in that moment is just that becoming aware.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s the moment of awareness. I see it frequently. Many of the dentists that I coach in order to\u2026 They\u2019ll oftentimes work very hard at Level One.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 New skills, what can we do? Better communicate.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Show them more pictures, show them more models.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, I\u2019ve got to make this happen. I think Level One is important but we have a difference in levels here. Level One, trying to do something at Level One to create an experience at Level Two, very very seldom works.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If I want to change someone\u2019s experience, the first thing I need to do is manage my own internal experience. Then use a set of skills that will in fact change or influence at a minimum their experience with me. And so I first have to kind of, as I tell people, my job is to manage the missile silo that I live in. That\u2019s where I manage this one here.<\/p>\n There are a number of other communication skills that I call our self-referential and they’re just different. They’re different than what we\u2019ve learned because many of these communication skills most of us learned are linear cause and effect. You do more. If it doesn\u2019t work, you do more, do different, do less, just do something.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It neglects this Level Two because we all know, Allison, you know, I know, everybody listening knows, it is internal experience that drives external behavior.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s just, we want to create a very inviting practice. You want people to feel warm and comfortable and welcome. You want them to feel safe. Those are all internal experiences that people have. The environment has an impact, definitely. But the relationship and the field of relationship is much more significant. You know, I oftentimes get questions, \u201cWell, this is hard to do.\u201d It\u2019s really not. It\u2019s just a matter of being aware and using some skills that are different.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I just think there\u2019s just a tiny little gap for me. It\u2019s like when you think, \u201cOkay, what\u2019s happening here?\u201d So you become aware of your emotional state.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s happening, right.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Just making that leap and it seems like it happens pretty fast but you’re saying in order to become aware you notice what you’re feeling. You have to.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You notice what your experience is.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What you’re experiencing. But then how do you get to that thinking? Like it seems like you would get stuck in the feeling and\u2026<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And most of the time we do. I will tell you to build the observation network that we have with the capacity for the brain to observe itself, for the mind, if you will. So it takes a lot. It takes practice, there\u2019s no question. We aren\u2019t taught that. I went through years and years of graduate school and nobody taught me how to think, particularly not to be aware of my thinking. We\u2019re just supposed to know that.<\/p>\n To build the observation network, the neural network that is able to observe, it does take time. It doesn\u2019t happen overnight. But what\u2019s interesting is once that neural network starts, it\u2019s easy to strengthen. It just takes practice. It\u2019s like implementing with a new procedure. It\u2019s like going to dental school. It takes practice. Once again, none of us are going to escape the process of influence. So if you\u2019re in it, why not enjoy it?<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 True.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You know? Let\u2019s put the odds on our side. And in the process, it benefits everybody else too.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That observing thing, is just having this conversation enough to go back and say, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to start observing now.\u201d Or, \u201cI\u2019m going to start becoming more aware.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When I do the Practice Leadership course, what I recommend for implementation is number one, avoid the temptation to go back and start implementing communication skills or telling your team this stuff. No, no, no, no, no, no. I understand the enthusiasm sometimes. My recommendation is to spend the first week if not two just observing yourself in relationship with others. Start to just build that neural network of observation.<\/p>\n And identify, for example, when I experience anxiety relative to my competence, when I feel or think or interpret or perceive a situation or something that someone said and it triggers my memories of being incompetent, inadequate, and not enough. And we all have those. So it triggers that set of memories in me. I know what it\u2019s like in my body. It\u2019s like my chest has been excavated. That\u2019s what it\u2019s like.<\/p>\n So I know what that sensation is and I know when it happens. It\u2019s like, \u201cOh, oh, yeah.\u201d At that point in time I\u2019m aware that\u2019s what\u2019s happening and I redirect to the truth. Not to what I learned to believe but to the truth.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So that\u2019s the process that happens. By that first week or two, I mean everyone that\u2019s listening could spend the next week or two just observi<\/em>, watching over, just observe your emotional reactivity, both positive and negative to the environment.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And that means no judgement.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, you can judge. The brain judges automatically because it\u2019s the way it gives meaning to things. So the brain automatically kick into judgement mode. But even observe the judgement. It\u2019s like, \u201cOh, there it is. Oh yeah.\u201d But it\u2019s to become aware of what\u2019s happening. \u201cOh, this is what frustration is like for me. I get a tight stomach. Oh.\u201d<\/p>\n Then when you do that, you begin to observe, what are the situations in which that\u2019s happening? There you can begin to build. Okay, in those situations, how do I want to experience myself? Not how do I want to change others. But how do I want to experience myself? What do I want to be different for me about my internal experience?<\/p>\n Well when that happens for me, I know the main thing for me is I want to remember that I am competent and capable. I trust myself. I can handle things. If I don\u2019t have an answer I can always find one. That\u2019s what\u2019s important. It takes time. It takes practice but it\u2019s well worth it because it\u2019s happening anyway.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You know? It\u2019s like [makes high-pitched sound] and the neuroscience is on our side. Psychophysiology, the new neuroscience, interpersonal neurobiology is very much on our side. The science is there. It\u2019s just not been part of our way of relating experiencing because we tend to be very focused on Level One.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And forget that we live in the soup called Level Two.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, it feels so, when you described it that way, that when you observe yourself, I instantly felt this almost like space.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ah.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Like there\u2019s space there to make a decision. There\u2019s space to make a choice. There\u2019s space to\u2026<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 There is space, lots of space.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s like a feeling of having a little power in the moment to do something different than just get reactive or\u2026<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right. All of us\u2014I mean, I continue to react. Oliver Wendell Holmes said it well, it\u2019s not so important where each one of us is. It\u2019s important the direction in which we are moving. I suggest to my clients that what\u2019s important is what direction do you want to move in? Not where you are but the direction you’re moving in. Because that\u2019s the strengthening process that builds the new neural networks that are accessible and then can influence others by accessing.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wow, that\u2019s amazing.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, what\u2019s interesting, one thing about the brain, it generalizes. What I have seen is once an individual starts to implement this way of relating to oneself and being aware of oneself, in say a professional situation like a practice, it\u2019s transferable to your family and other relationships because it\u2019s very transferable. The content is different but the process is the same.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So it becomes a transferable, if you will, technology at that point in time.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So if you’re strengthening it with yourself then your strengths is automatically applied to every area of life.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right, right, exactly. Yeah, you can. Because who doesn\u2019t want to influence their spouse positively? Who doesn\u2019t want to influence their children positively? We all do.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Almost in any interaction we have we want to.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Exactly. So then it\u2019s a matter of just taking and transferring those skills and that state to a wide variety of situations. So that\u2019s, I mean that\u2019s the approach, that\u2019s the way\u2014over the years what\u2019s interesting is neuroscience has been really strengthened, if you will, this phenomenon called state-dependent memory and the important role it plays in terms of how we relate to each other and what gets triggered. And how we can create a new set of memories or strengthen the positive ones intentionally so we can access them.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah. It seems like you\u2019ve been teaching this for a long time and it\u2019s just getting more and more clear. They can prove things that they couldn\u2019t prove before.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right. Yeah, there\u2019s a lot of science behind it. What has changed a lot is now with the advent of interpersonal neurobiology, there\u2019s a lot more coming out for example about the role of the vagus nerve and how do create safety for people at a deep level.<\/p>\n Engager<\/em>, to engage is from the French word meaning to attract the attention of. So how do you attract the attention of others in your practice? To your thinking? Because if two people engaged, that\u2019s what they\u2019re doing, they’re attracting each other\u2019s attention. It\u2019s a fascinating process in that way.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Absolutely. Okay, we have a hand raised, Thomas Boland. Hello?<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Allison, this is Mike, can I have the next dance?<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh, hey, Mike. How are you? That\u2019s Mike McDevitt, right?<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I recognized you voice.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I thought that might be a way to get into the conversation. This is absolutely fascinating to me. I want to, Brian, thank you for the gift of your time and your knowledge and your wisdom.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well thank you, thank you for that. I really appreciate that.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah. It\u2019s just been amazing. As I\u2019m listening and kind of picking up on different words and thoughts and things, I\u2019m trying to discern is there a difference between emotional intelligence and what you’re describing and the way I might distill it down is to call it emotional fitness. Or am I way off track?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m going to suggest that emotional fitness and emotional intelligence are probably similar. I can appreciate emotional fitness. I would put emotional fitness if I may use that term which I think as great as the first step. In other words, I have my responsibility to myself and to others is to maintain that, to strengthen my emotional fitness or my emotional intelligence through awareness and intention and paying attention to that. So building neural networks.<\/p>\n But my second responsibility is\u2014because I could go up on a mountain top and do that. But my second is how do I engage others and influence them in such a way that they too experience themselves? I start to influence them. To me, that\u2019s the essence of leadership is first I manage what\u2019s happening here and redirect that and strengthen those neural networks. Secondly, I engage others in such a way that I increase the probability that they also begin to experience themselves in a thoughtful, positive way.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Neat, cool.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You know what, Mike?<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So we might be able to engage them and encourage their emotional fitness?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh, I can tell you right now I guarantee that. I think that\u2019s essential that you will. If anything, a leader\u2019s primary responsibility is to help people mature.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hmm.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s not that people are immature, it\u2019s just that we are so driven by our emotions particularly in a highly-anxious society we live in that helping people mature means helping them function at a more thoughtful, self-referential, a responsible level for the choices they make in their life. That\u2019s done very thoughtfully and that\u2019s what a leader does I think, whether it be with patients, team members, or family members, you know?<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wow. That\u2019s really powerful, thank you.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Does that make sense?<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It makes sense to me. I never thought about it but thank you. You helped me make sense of that and clear that up, that\u2019s good, thank you.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, but you know, I mean putting the idea of fitness in too\u2014because we\u2019re in our healthcare professions and certainly in dentistry trying to promote health.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, exactly.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One of the ways I try to do that is to share with the patient that I see themselves as healthier.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wow, wow, wow.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I got that from Naomi Raymond.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So if I see them as healthier\u2026<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right, exactly.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Than they might be right now, then I try to engage them almost provocatively by saying, \u201cIf you could be healthier, would you be open to doing some things about that?\u201d<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah. And that, number one, what you’re doing is you’re focusing on a positive so it stimulates a positive picture. Secondly, it\u2019s moving them towards differences. One of the things that\u2019s so key, particularly in communication with other brains is to create positive differences. The art of creating positive differences. Because it\u2019s a difference, Mike, that moves people from one place to another. If there\u2019s no difference, there\u2019s no movement.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No, no.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Most of us create differences based on a reduction in the negative, avoidance, as opposed to creation of the positive. That\u2019s what you’re doing in that statement. There\u2019s a picture you’re creating and then you’re actually influencing the patient to think about a difference. So you’re engaging their frontal cortex and this is then and this is now. That is called motivare<\/em>, motivation.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s emotion.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I recently reread Appreciative Inquiry<\/em>.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of like that, yeah.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, okay, all right.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Very, very similar. Very similar to that. Loaded with curiosity and loaded with thinking positive differences and creating them. And creating pictures of them in people\u2019s minds.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how valuable this is. It\u2019s just amazingly valuable. Thank you so much.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, you’re so welcome. Thank you for that. I appreciate that. I\u2019m experiencing my confidence. These are the kind of memories that are so important to build on.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s just so important right now for me to remember, \u201cYes, I\u2019m learning how to communicate this well. I am competent.\u201d That is so important for me to remember because nobody else will remember it for me. So, thank you, Mike. Thank you for that.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll remember it because you’re moving me down the road.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wonderful, that\u2019s great.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Mike is very good at this. You know what, Mike, I think it\u2019s so funny that you raised your hand because you popped in my head when he talked about painting a positive picture for themselves. You\u2019re the person I thought of.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, thank you. Thank you.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Mike will take this information and he will positively impact not only his patients but other dentists.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wonderful.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, he\u2019s an excellent teacher.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s great, Mike. Glad to hear it. Glad to hear it.<\/p>\n Mike:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thank you so much. You\u2019ve certainly added to my understanding. That means a whole lot. Thank you.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Good, you’re welcome. Thank you.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thanks, Mike. All right, if anybody else has a question just push *2. We don\u2019t have much longer. We only have a few minutes. The name that\u2026<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go ahead.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Somebody did raise their hand. Do you want to say something, Brian?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No, I was just going to say that if anyone, I know Dr. Chris Wilson is sponsoring a two-day leadership course that really goes into this and does a lot of enactments. With your permission, I\u2019ll just give you the phone number for his practice in Vermont?<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sure.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s (802) 728-3343.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be at the Black Stallion Inn at the end of September in Vermont. Dr. Chris Wilson has a private practice there. He\u2019s sponsoring a workshop for I think about ten or twelve dentists.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, thank you.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You’re welcome, thank you.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And I think they have, do you want to give any of your contact information? Do you have a website or a phone number or something?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sure. I have a website. It\u2019s under revision, it seems like it\u2019s always under revision, but www.BrianDesRoches.com. The phone number is there and my email address is B as in Brian, last name DesRoches at ATT.net. But the phone number is on the website and a little section on the services I provide to the dental profession are there too. Allison, I will be presenting a day-long workshop at the Greater New York Dental Society meeting this fall on the second day, Saturday, a day-long one.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s in relationship to patients particularly.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What date is that, do you know?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Like December 1st<\/sup>, I think?<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, I think it\u2019d be easy to look it up.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, well I\u2019m going to call on, now the name that shows up is Destiny Beills.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s me, Allison. I don\u2019t what that name is but this is Mark Battiato.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh, hi Mark.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hi.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I don\u2019t know where these weird names are coming from.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, I haven\u2019t changed that much yet.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah Mark, you don\u2019t sound like a Destiny to me.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I haven\u2019t moved that far that direction yet [laughs]. Hey, I just wanted to make a couple of comments and then just your thoughts, Brian. I saw you about ten years ago in Napa.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, your name is familiar to me.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, it\u2019s great. This call has been awesome. Since you were in Napa, you’re like a fine wine, just maturing, going deeper, which is cool. One thing when you were talking about just some thoughts about the anxiety?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Which I’ve struggled with that in relationships, with marriage, just things like that.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sure, sure.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One thing that\u2019s really kind of helped me and I’m just going to throw this out and just kind of ask you the connection here. Which I think I kind of know but I just want to throw it out there, is that when we all go through this or I do, one thing, whether it\u2019s with a person, or a situation, or a conflict, or someone in my family, or something that\u2019s said about me or whatever. Or my thoughts in my own brain like you’re saying.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Right, right, a lot of cues to that process, yeah.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One thing that I\u2019ve done that\u2019s been kind of like a\u2014I don\u2019t think it\u2019s an affirmation because I agree with you on what you said about those, that they don\u2019t last. Is that I go back to kind of a foundational truth that I believe. There\u2019s actually a song called \u201cThe Voice of Truth\u201d that\u2019s a Christian song. I always go back to that. What\u2019s the voice of truth saying about you right now, Mark?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wow.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And what\u2019s the voice of truth say about this situation? Who you are? Then it gets me to say, you know that\u2019s, what is my\u2014because this is my belief\u2014what is my creator saying about me? What\u2019s the truth about me?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wonderful.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Then really, it\u2019s just kind of helped ground. I was just going to kind of throw that out to a) how is this emotional fitness, emotional intelligence? I like what that last caller said, the doctor, about emotional fitness. How does that relate at all to your spiritual growth and maturity as far as enhancing that?<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, for me, personally they’re not separable. So what you’re basically doing is you’re creating a triangle. You\u2019re looking at this negative belief that gets triggered by the anxiety about yourself. You’re seeing that it\u2019s there. Then you are referencing another truth which is the truth, I believe, about yourself. So you have strengthened that neural network. Literally you\u2019ve developed a neural network that once the negative happens, it to a great degree automatically triggers and this is what happens. It triggers that linked positive.<\/p>\n So depending if it\u2019s not really overwhelming, it will trigger that and then you will ask yourself that question. You have the answer to that question and that I would imagine creates a different emotional state within your body.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, I think what you said about changing the nervous system of other people is so huge because I have a daughter who\u2019s fifteen and a son who\u2019s eighteen. You know, just when they’re going through all their stuff, girls especially, it\u2019s amazing. I never realized this until I had my girl, the attacks, but I always tell my daughter, I say, \u201cThat girl said that but what does the voice of truth say about you?\u201d<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It gets her to change her whole body.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah and what you’re doing is you\u2019re asking, which is a really important question. In human communication, the why question tends to be provocative and anxiety-producing. A what question stimulates the frontal cortex. So when you say, \u201cWhat is the voice of truth saying about you?\u201d You have actually influenced her to remember. You\u2019ve helped that brain remember and then you\u2019re helping that brain strengthen the truth.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s awesome, I didn\u2019t know that.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Does that make\u2014does that?<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh yeah, I never thought of it. That\u2019s awesome.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, you never ask a patient why for example. You never ask a team member why did you not do, you know, because you will send them right to the back of their brain. What, how, what could be different, let\u2019s think about this. This is what I\u2019m thinking. Ways of engaging the frontal cortex which are all pretty concrete and practical. But that question right there, what a gift you\u2019re giving your daughter. What a gift.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You know, you\u2019re not telling her what to think. You’re becoming curious about what\u2019s possible for her to think. And curiosity\u2026<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I guess I\u2019m just passing the gift from the greatest gift maker to her, so, appreciate that.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, curiosity is from the Latin word curiosus<\/em>. It means to care for. So that\u2019s what you\u2026 that\u2019s wonderful. Wow. Thank you for that.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thank you for clarifying that. That\u2019s awesome.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thanks, Mark.<\/p>\n Mark:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sure.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thank you so much, Brian. We\u2019re actually out of time.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, thank you, Allison. This has been delightful, it\u2019s been reinforcing for me because every time I have an opportunity to talk about the principles and how this works, it strengthens my belief in a theoretical foundation that makes sense and it just strengthens me inside. I really appreciate that.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, I appreciate what you\u2019ve brought to us, each individually and if we choose to use this, it will impact many, many people.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Amen.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Our patients and our team.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Exactly.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Brian:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Goodbye to everyone who\u2019s on and I thank you for listening and I thank you for your time.<\/p>\n Thanks for listening to Practicing with the Masters<\/em> for dentists, with your host, Dr. Allison Watts. For more about how Allison Watts and Transformational Practices can help you create a successful and fulfilling practice and life, visit transformationalpractices.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/div> <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This week on the Practicing with the Masters podcast, I am honored and excited to invite\u00a0a consultant and psychotherapist, Brian DesRoches, Ph.D.\u00a0He\u00a0is a facilitator of several nationally-known workshops, as well as\u00a0an internationally-published author of\u00a0Your Boss is\u00a0Not Your Mother, \u00a0Reclaiming Yourself and his latest book, Engage, Influence and Prosper: A New Paradigm for Success and Happiness\u00a0that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[303],"tags":[309,305,304,307],"yoast_head":"\nWhat You’ll Learn From This Episode:<\/h3>\n
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Listen To The Full Interview:<\/h3>\n\n
Featured On The Show:<\/h3>\n
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Full Episode Transcript:<\/h3>\n
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<\/a><\/p>\nHow to Achieve Success by Managing Your Emotions with Brian DesRoches<\/h3>\n
CLICK HERE TO READ THE TRANSCRIPT (8,958 WORDS )<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n
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