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Once again, returning to share John C. Maxwell\u2019s next 3 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership is certified speaker, trainer and coach, Will Bess. This week, Will teaches\u00a0us about laws 7-9 and their importance to our development as leaders.<\/p>\n
Starting with the Law of Respect, Will teaches us that people naturally follow leaders who are stronger than themselves. What a leader does to earn and keep the\u00a0respect of the followers is all about the emotions that they inspire in those around them. He explains the\u00a0new need to be intentional with our leadership and inspire emotions in people.\u00a0This\u00a0cannot happen accidentally, it is intentional and should always be done with a purpose.<\/p>\n
The next two laws, the Law of Intuition and the Law of Magnetism, can be the hardest laws to teach to those who are not born a natural leader. All people are intuitive in their area of strength, but not necessarily in leadership. Understanding and recognizing emotions in your team, your family and your friends, our emotional intelligence can drastically affect how your team respects and follows you. You do not want to miss part 3 of Will\u2019s phenomenal breakdown of John\u2019s laws of leadership.\u00a0It is sure to\u00a0help you become one of John\u2019s loyal followers and have you clamoring to learn more!<\/p>\n
Welcome to Practicing with the Masters<\/em> for dentists with your host, Dr. Allison Watts. Allison believes that there are four pillars for a successful, fulfilling dental practice: clear leadership, sound business principles, well-developed communication skills, and clinical excellence. Allison enjoys helping dentists and teams excel in all of these areas. Each episode she brings you an inspiring conversation with another leading expert. If you desire to learn and grow and in the process take your practice to the next level, then this is the show for you. Now, here\u2019s your host, Dr. Allison Watts.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Welcome to Practicing with the Masters<\/em> podcast. I’m your host, Allison Watts, and I\u2019m dedicated to bringing you masters in the field of dentistry, leadership, and practice management to help you have a more fulfilling and successful practice and life.<\/p>\n Okay, Will, I think everybody on the phone knows you by now. We\u2019re just thrilled to have you. Will and I were just talking, John Maxwell was here and Dina, Lisa, my whole team, went and saw him live. Of course Will was there and oh my gosh it was great. I told Will I\u2019m starting to get hooked.<\/p>\n It\u2019s funny, I was just introduced to him, I don\u2019t know, months ago and the more I learn from him the more I just think, wow this man has a lot of knowledge and you can go deep with it. Some of it can be kind of shallow. You think \u201cOh, I\u2019ve heard this before,\u201d and some of it is so simple, but it\u2019s so valuable. We\u2019ve decided we\u2019re going to really use this in our office.<\/p>\n Anyway, we\u2019re excited to have you, Will. We\u2019re working on laws, what is it? Seven through nine today?<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Seven through nine, yes, ma\u2019am.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Seven through nine, so I\u2019ll just go ahead and let you take over and fill us with your knowledge and your wisdom.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 All right, thank you so much, Allison. And thank you everyone for being on the call and those who couldn\u2019t make it to the call, I hope that you enjoy the recording.<\/p>\n Yeah, Allison you have to be careful with John because that rascal, he\u2019ll get ahold of you and the next thing you know you are going to every conference and buying every book that comes out. I agree with you. He\u2019s written seventy, I don\u2019t even know it was seventy, I thought it was fifty something, but I guess he\u2019s probably written some that he\u2019s actually forgotten about.<\/p>\n But if you read a lot of them, a lot of them do cross-reference each other. But the reason for that is some of the principles are, they\u2019re just set in stone and there is no getting around them. So you can say them a different way and you can hear other people say them a different way, but the fact of the matter is, they are what they are. They will always remain that way.<\/p>\n So today, we\u2019re going to jump right into law number seven, the Law of Respect. That\u2019s the law that says people naturally follow leaders stronger than themselves. I\u2019ll just start off with a little recap of the story that John told in the chapter of that book if you haven\u2019t read it. He\u2019s talking about a woman, a black woman, short in stature, illiterate, missing a couple of teeth. So I\u2019m thinking she wasn\u2019t going to win any beauty contests. She had abandoned her husband.<\/p>\n She had erratic employment. She would just disappear from jobs for long periods of time, come back, leave again. She would return with no money in her pocket, work a little bit, get a little bit more money, and take off again. She was known as a hard worker, but she was known to fall asleep right in the middle of a conversation. She attributed that to a blow that she had taken in the head during her youth, during a physical altercation.<\/p>\n So you ask yourself, \u201cWho would respect a woman like her, why is she even in this book?\u201d And the year is in 1857. We\u2019re talking about a black woman in 1857. Who would\u2019ve respected a black woman in 1857? Well according to the story, probably more than three hundred slaves and almost every abolitionist in New England respected this woman as a leader, because her name was Harriet Tubman. I\u2019m sure we\u2019ve all heard of her. She was the conductor on the Underground Railroad which was really basically individuals, former slaves, abolitionists, and Quakers, who were helping slaves escape to their freedom.<\/p>\n She was called \u201cMoses,\u201d which is basically a take on the biblical Moses who led his people out of the captivity of Pharaoh. She did the same, led her people to freedom. Now the head injury that she received, she got that blocking the path of an overseer, who was attempting to beat a slave. The slave fled through the door, she stepped in the doorway, and tried to stop the overseer from catching the slave. He threw a two pound weight and hit her in the head. I don\u2019t know how he was carrying, why he was carrying around a two pound weight, or how he got a hold of one. But the man had one. So he threw it, hit her in the head, and almost killed her. She was thirteen years old at the time.<\/p>\n Yes, she did abandon her husband. Her husband was a free black man and she said, \u201cHey, you know what? I want to be free as well, so I want you to help me escape and go together.\u201d Not only did he say, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not going to help you,\u201d he told her that he would turn her in if she tried to escape. So she just left. That\u2019s the story of Harriet Tubman. I\u2019ve actually read her biography before and he was real lucky, consider himself lucky that she just left when he threatened to turn her in.<\/p>\n She made her way to Pennsylvania via the Underground Railroad. She returned back nineteen times to free other slaves. That\u2019s why her employment was so erratic because she would come back, work, get enough money for her journey, and she would take off again. She came back nineteen times. She risked her life nineteen times to free other slaves, people she didn\u2019t even know.<\/p>\n She was quoted as saying that she never ran her train off the track and she never lost a passenger. One of the reasons that she never lost a passenger is people came to find out, once you got on her train, once you agreed to roll with her, you would finish the trip. Because Harriet knew that if a slave decided they changed their mind and wanted to go back to the plantation and the slave owner got ahold of them, she knew that they would be tortured and they would end up giving up valuable information, to stop her mission.<\/p>\n She would basically place a loaded pistol to anybody\u2019s head who decided that they were too tired to go on and wanted to turn back. She told them, \u201cYou can go on, you\u2019re going to finish this journey with us or you\u2019re going to die.\u201d Because dead men tell no tales. So she was prepared to kill someone in order to save more lives. So a $12,000 bounty was actually placed on her head. Back in slavery days, twelve thousand dollars, I\u2019m not a mathematician but you can imagine what that would be worth these days.<\/p>\n I really think Harriet was an original gangster when I read her story because this women was tough and she didn\u2019t play. She wasn\u2019t scared, she was fearless. She became a leader and she gained much, much respect. She gained respect and she produced results. So it doesn\u2019t matter where her background was from, it didn\u2019t matter what her physical appearance looked like, she did the things that leaders do. She was stronger than the people that she was leading and they wanted to follow her.<\/p>\n When you talk about respect, self-respect and confidence are two of the biggest factors for a leader to gain respect. People really purchase on emotion, that\u2019s what people do. We are emotional creatures, human beings are emotional creatures and we follow people based on emotion. It\u2019s not accidental, it\u2019s intentional. You know, we don\u2019t just see a long line and go stand in the line if we don\u2019t know where that line is going. We intentionally get in the line.<\/p>\n So people who have strong leadership abilities, they don\u2019t go around looking for people with weaker skills to follow. I mean, sometimes that happens because of the nature of somebody\u2019s employment. But I\u2019m going to tell you right now, and I can speak from personal experience, if you\u2019re following someone who is a weak leader and you are a stronger leader or you have a desire to be a stronger leader, you are going to get frustrated.<\/p>\n You\u2019re going to frustrated and something is going to happen. You\u2019re going to either change the culture of your organization or you\u2019re going to change your address. One of the two is going to happen. The thing about leadership is that the more a person is invested in it, the quicker they can recognize it in others, or the lack of others. I\u2019ll talk about that a little bit here in a bit.<\/p>\n Anyway, the book talks about six qualities that helps a leader gain respect. So we will talk about those six for a minute here. Some people have natural leadership abilities. You know, John always talks about, people ask him all the time, are leaders born? He makes a little joke that yes they are born, I haven\u2019t seen one that wasn\u2019t born. Of course they are all born. Basically what the people are asking or not, is it natural? Is leadership natural? The answer is yes and no.<\/p>\n Some people do have greater leadership abilities than others. Some of it is inherent. You can see, I don\u2019t know if you have ever just sat there and just watched children play or watched children interact, but you can see some of it in some children. You\u2019ll see that other children will naturally flock to them. Whatever that person is doing, the other children want to be doing.<\/p>\n That little person is not trying to lead, they don\u2019t even have a concept of leadership, but it\u2019s just something about them that they are charismatic or they have a strength about them that the other children automatically can tell that this person is the strongest of the group, and I want to do what this person does.<\/p>\n So yes, some of it can be natural. Some people are very charismatic and charming and they can connect well with people. Some of that is natural. But the thing about it is, if you have natural ability, people will want to listen to you, follow you, and be around you, but only if you are not just relying on that alone, because you can\u2019t rely on talent alone. We can see in every situation and every day, whether it\u2019s forced, whether it is just general life, people who are filled with potential, they are very talented individuals but their talent has gotten them only so far in life.<\/p>\n They\u2019re continuing to depend on their natural charm to get them out of trouble, their natural charisma to get the things that they want in life. They\u2019re recognizing that you get to a certain point in your life where it doesn\u2019t matter how charming you are, it doesn\u2019t matter how charismatic you are. You have to do something to go along with that talent because that\u2019s only going to get you so far. So you have to equip yourself with additional skills.<\/p>\n The penitentiaries, and I\u2019ve seen it for eighteen years, are full of people who are very gifted and very talented in a variety of areas but they fall short of achieving anything in their lives because they have only relied on their giftedness and not added anything to it. And not try to equip themselves with something else.<\/p>\n Natural leadership abilities, yes, some people do have them, but you have to equip yourself with other tools. Respect for others, you have to bring value to people. You hear this, this seems to be a common thread, in all of these laws I probably have mentioned it every time. But you do, you have to bring value to people as the leader. There is no getting around it.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a story that I read once about Nelson Mandela and I think all of you, I\u2019m sure have heard of Nelson Mandela, the great South African leader who was in prison for twenty-some years for a crime he did not commit. At any rate, this was the time after he had gotten out of prison and he was hosting a dinner and a dignitary from another country was visiting him. So Mandela was talking to him, and he asked him, \u201cDid you come alone?\u201d And the man said, \u201cNo, no, no, my driver, I was driven here, and my driver is here.\u201d<\/p>\n He said, \u201cWhere\u2019s your driver?\u201d He said, \u201cWell, he\u2019s outside with the car.\u201d He\u2019s thinking that is what drivers do, they stay outside with the car. Mandela said, \u201cNo, no, no, I won\u2019t have it.\u201d So Mandela sent for him, the driver, and invited him to come inside and join them at the dinner table. Respect for others, honoring other people.<\/p>\n You know, Allison and I were talking about John Maxwell earlier and when I went to the certification which was in West Palm Beach, I think it was in 2011. At any rate, it was at a hotel and there were five hundred people there being certified, and it was about forty-two different countries being represented at that function. It was about four days long and so of course you know the hotel staff was doing their thing and they did a fabulous job.<\/p>\n So on the last day, when they were on stage recognizing different people, Paul Martinelli who is the head of the John Maxwell team, he had all of the staff come on stage, all of the hotel staff come on stage. He wanted to thank them and he had us thank them and everybody stood and gave them applause and a standing ovation. It wasn\u2019t staged. It was heartfelt because they had done a wonderful job. You can just see the emotion on their faces. The hotel manager said, \u201cThat has never happened before, you know that\u2019s what we do, we host events and nobody has ever done that before.\u201d<\/p>\n The reason that that was done is because we want you to know that, you know what, you were here to serve us and we appreciate that and we want to honor that. So that\u2019s what happened. We wanted to honor them and show them that we have respect for you, doesn\u2019t matter what your position was, you served us in a wonderful manner and we want to honor that.<\/p>\n You see, true leadership is voluntary. You can\u2019t make people respect you, you can\u2019t. Some people think they are getting respect, when in actuality, people are following them because they have to because of their position. But they don\u2019t necessary respect them. I don\u2019t know if you guys have ever worked with someone who you did what they said, you were cordial to them, but you really didn\u2019t respect them and what they stood for.<\/p>\n When people respect you as a person, they admire you. When people respect you as a friend, they love you. And when people respect you as a leader, they follow you. If you continue to respect others and consistently lead them, they will respect you and you\u2019ll continue to have followers. It\u2019s a huge responsibility. Leadership is a huge responsibility.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve always said if people really, truly understood what it took to be a great leader, a lot of people would be reluctant to seek those positions and titles the way they do. Because it is a huge responsibility if it\u2019s done correctly, but it is one that you must cherish and be prepared to continually earn. You don\u2019t earn respect one time. You earn it over and over again.<\/p>\n Another thing is courage. It means you have to be willing to stand alone at times. You have to do what\u2019s right and risk failure, danger, and criticism. You know, the other day I watched the movie Lincoln<\/em>, for the first time. I didn\u2019t go out to the theater to watch it, I watched it on DVD. I had heard some things about the movie and I have to tell you, I was a little upset when Denzel didn\u2019t win the Oscar because I thought he was phenomenal in the movie Flight<\/em>. I think he was a better alcoholic than real alcoholics were.<\/p>\n So I was thinking, \u201cOkay you know Daniel Day-Lewis won this Oscar in Lincoln<\/em>, fine, whatever.\u201d But then I saw the movie and I got it because the man was amazing. I mean, obviously none of us alive have ever met Abraham Lincoln but I would venture to say the way that he was played in that movie that I think he was probably just like that.<\/p>\n But let\u2019s talk a little bit about Lincoln the man. He epitomizes what courage was. It\u2019s very appropriate, it\u2019s very appropriate to recognize Harriet Tubman for her courage and leadership. It\u2019s very appropriate because she put her life on the line and she did amazing things. But see, Lincoln had a different kind of courage. He wasn\u2019t a slave, as Tubman was, so he didn\u2019t have that built-in motivation to end slavery like she did. He was the president of the United States. He was risking so much by reaching out on a limb to end slavery. He did what was right, even at the risk of failure. He did what was right.<\/p>\n How much courage does it take to stand on the issue that was the major cause of the Civil War? Can you imagine how much courage that took, to make a stand on that? I mean, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s an accident that he is considered to be one of America\u2019s greatest presidents, if not the greatest. Another man comes to mind, Dr. Martin Luther King, a man who was willing to die for his values and beliefs. I mean, I don\u2019t know how you cannot respect or want to follow leaders like that who display such amazing courage.<\/p>\n Yeah, most of us won\u2019t have the opportunity to impact the world like those gentlemen did but in our own day-to-day life we show courage by doing the right thing. No matter what other people are thinking about it. You can be afraid, it\u2019s okay. Courage is doing something afraid. So it\u2019s okay to be afraid but you still do it.<\/p>\n Another one is success. People are drawn to success, we are, we like winners. We like people who get things done. You know, advice is cheap, but results are priceless. We respect people who get it done. That\u2019s really why it doesn\u2019t matter how vocal you are, no matter how many things you\u2019ve done, people are not going to respond a thing to you if you hadn\u2019t brought them a victory.<\/p>\n As you can tell by now, if this is your third time listening to me, you know I\u2019m a huge sports fan and I love sports because I think it intersects with life. Same traits needed to be successful in life, you need in sports. I look at LeBron James, the basketball player with the Miami Heat and he\u2019s won a couple of MVP trophies, most valuable player. He has otherworldly basketball skills, he\u2019s amazing. But until last year, the basketball community never really gave him the respect that he desired until he won the championship, because people like winners.<\/p>\n They respect success. So it doesn\u2019t really matter how great your individual skills are if you\u2019re not winning, if you\u2019re not producing the results, then you are going to be limited in your leadership. Because it\u2019s very, very, hard to lead and encourage someone to do something when you have not managed to do it yourself.<\/p>\n Loyalty. Loyalty is a dying attribute. It really is because most people want instant gratification. They want it now. We are concerned with the here and now. We live in a culture of constant change and people want things now. You know, as a sports fan, it used to upset me when the players from my favorite teams would leave and go to other teams for more money, or they\u2019d go play for a rival. But then I realized, there\u2019s no loyalty in the sport.<\/p>\n A player can play his heart out for a team, but as soon as he loses a step, he\u2019s not as good as he used to be, they\u2019ll cut him from the team. It doesn\u2019t matter what he\u2019s done for the team, they\u2019ll cut him. So players do the same thing, if you want to offer me two dollars more, I\u2019m going to go over there.<\/p>\n I look in college. I was looking at the news the other day and especially about coach Steve Alford, who was coaching the New Mexico Lobos. He had just signed a ten-year contract to coach that team and was paid handsomely. Ten days after signing that ten-year contract, he quit and he went and signed a seven-year contract with UCLA. I just really don\u2019t understand that.<\/p>\n These are gentlemen, they are recruiting young men, they are going to homes of parents, they\u2019re sitting there telling their mommas, \u201cI\u2019m going to take care of your boy if you send him to me. I\u2019m going to teach him how to be a man. I\u2019m going to teach him how to play basketball better.\u201d But then as soon as somebody offers them a better job, they leave.<\/p>\n That\u2019s what it has come to, not just in sports. There is no loyalty. The average person works at a job for 4.4 years. People are constantly moving, constantly changing, because it\u2019s all about me. If somebody offers me a better deal, I\u2019m gone. Loyalty requires steadfastness, sticking to the task, finishing the race.<\/p>\n Lastly, value added to others. That\u2019s what leaders do. They\u2019ll avoid spending time making sure things are good for them. They make sure things are good for other people. They take care of the team. Sometimes as the leader, you\u2019ve got to learn to take it for the team. Too many times people, they\u2019re quick to name names and throw people under the bus instead of saying it was my responsibility, I should have prepared them better, it\u2019s my blame.<\/p>\n So how do you measure your level of respect? Look at who you attract. Who chooses to follow you? Then look, look at how people respond to you when you ask for a commitment or change. See because when you are commanding the respect that you desire, your people will step up and they\u2019ll sign up. They\u2019re willing to embrace the change because they trust you, they respect you. So if you\u2019re saying this needs to be done, they know it\u2019s necessary.<\/p>\n When someone isn\u2019t respected, when the leader isn\u2019t respected, people doubt, they question, they make excuses, or they just leave. So if haven\u2019t earned the respect, it\u2019s hard to get people to follow you because truth be told, it\u2019s not easy to get people to follow you when you have earned the respect. So it\u2019s doubly hard to do it when you don\u2019t have that respect. The deeper level of respect that you have, the more the person is willing to accept the change.<\/p>\n So when your people, or the people around you, they won\u2019t volunteer or they\u2019re slow to change, you have to look in that mirror and think perhaps that you maybe need to grow yourself a little bit because the more you grow, the better people that you will attract.<\/p>\n We are going to move on to the Law of Intuition. And Maxwell considered the Law of Intuition to be the hardest law for him to teach. He says it\u2019s one of those laws that natural leaders get but it\u2019s hard to teach. It favors the gifted leader. All people are intuitive in their area of strength but not necessarily leadership.<\/p>\n So this law tends to depend on much more than just the facts. It\u2019s based on facts plus instinct, plus other intangible factors, such as employee morale, organization momentum, and relational dynamics. In an interview with General Colin Powell he stated that his leadership practice was to make a decision after gathering only about forty to sixty percent of the facts. Then he used his experience to make up the rest. See, General Powell, he relied on his intuition as much as he did the facts.<\/p>\n Because good leaders, they see things with a leadership bias. Then as a result they instinctively, almost automatically, know what to do. Who you are dictates what you see, meaning that we see the world as we see ourselves, we do. Intuition comes from two factors. There\u2019s natural ability and there\u2019s learned skills.<\/p>\n I kind of like the quarterback, I may have mentioned earlier, he can see the play develop before it unfolds. Some of that is natural but a lot of that is learned skill. He studied, he studied, he prepared, he prepared, he watched countless hours of film. So it seems like it\u2019s just intuitive that he can do these things, but it comes from two parts. Part of it was natural, he has a gift, but the other was learned skills. It requires the ability to read what is going on.<\/p>\n So what we should try to do is be stronger in the area that we want to have intuition in, read the situation, read the people, read yourself. The three levels of leadership intuition that we are going to talk about. There\u2019s the person who naturally understands leadership and these are the born leaders. These are the ones who have the natural gifts of leadership. They automatically understand people and they know how to get them to move from point A to point B. That\u2019s their gift.<\/p>\n Then you have those who could be nurtured to understand leadership and most people fall into this category. It\u2019s teachable, it\u2019s a teachable principle. That\u2019s why you guys are on this call, that\u2019s why we\u2019re doing this, that\u2019s why we went to the Maxwell conference, that\u2019s why we sign up for seminars. Because we understand we can be taught to lead, it\u2019s a teachable skill.<\/p>\n Then you have those who never understand leadership. You may know some of these people throughout your life or your work career. They have no interest in leadership, it\u2019s a bunch of mumbo jumbo, it\u2019s a bunch of garbage, it\u2019s a waste of time. They\u2019re not going to ever attend a conference unless the boss is there, unless the boss makes them, or they think they are going to get promoted in some kind of way. That is the only way they\u2019re going to go. They\u2019re certainly not going to ever read a book on leadership.<\/p>\n They just will never understand it because they don\u2019t have any desire to do it. See, intuition is similar to when you buy a new car. That may not make sense to you right now. But have you ever heard of reticular activation systems? I\u2019m not going to get too deep with you because I\u2019m not really that smart, but it\u2019s a brain thing. It\u2019s a network of neurons and fibers running around in your brain and it makes up a reticular activating system. Basically, that\u2019s a part of your brain that controls consciousness. It\u2019s believed to control sleep. It\u2019s believed to control wakefulness. But more importantly, the ability to consciously focus on something. That\u2019s what I mean about a new car.<\/p>\n Have you ever bought a new car? As soon as you got your car you started seeing that car everywhere. You thought you were being special, you thought you were unique. I don\u2019t see this car, I\u2019m going to get this car, I\u2019m going to be the only one in town like it. All of sudden, you notice that car everywhere.<\/p>\n Ladies buy a new pair of shoes, I don\u2019t care how fly they are. Buy a new pair of shoes and I guarantee you, you will spot that same shoe somewhere else on somebody else\u2019s foot out of a crowd of a thousand feet. That\u2019s the reticular activated system in your head. It makes you notice things that you hadn\u2019t noticed previously once you got that information. So developing leadership intuition, it\u2019s the same thing.<\/p>\n Once you set focus on becoming a good leader and learning the principles and the discipline of good leadership, you will immediately begin to recognize it quickly when you see it. Or you will recognize it when it\u2019s not there. It\u2019s just like that new car. You\u2019ll start seeing it everywhere or you\u2019ll start noticing there is a lack of it. You may be following someone that you originally thought, this person is a good leader. Then you recognize what good leadership really looks like and you start saying, \u201cHmm, maybe not so fast.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s what intuition does for you. It helps you notice things and it helps you notice it quickly. You want to develop your intuition, develop your thinking. Learn to trust your feelings of instinct in the area of strength. I\u2019ve heard before that intuition is the warning signal that God gives us. Have you ever done anything and after the fact you said, \u201cSomething told me not to do that. I knew I shouldn\u2019t have.\u201d That\u2019s your intuition trying to warn you, trying to tell you.<\/p>\n Before you had any facts your intuition was telling you, this is what you should or should not do. It\u2019s the same thing with leadership. That\u2019s why General Powell was the great leader he was, because before he had all of the facts his intuition was telling him, this is the way you need to go. So listen for that, when you say to yourself, \u201cMan, something in my gut is telling me.\u201d That\u2019s your intuition, probably should listen to it. Or if you say, \u201cOh, I have a hunch,\u201d or \u201cThere is something about that person.\u201d Could be something there.<\/p>\n You want to develop your intuition? Study people, read books, engage people in conversations, get to know people, that\u2019s how you do it, you get to know people. I had a friend of mine email me the other day. \u201cHi, how are you doing? Hey, how are you doing?\u201d I said, \u201cHow are you?\u201d She said, \u201cFine.\u201d And this was on email. I replied, \u201cAre you okay?\u201d She said, \u201cYes, I\u2019m fine.\u201d So I picked up the phone and I called her.<\/p>\n I say, \u201cGirl, what\u2019s wrong with you?\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cNothing\u2019s wrong with me.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with you?\u201d Something was wrong with her. So she proceeded to tell me what it was that was bothering her. After the conversation she said, \u201cHow on earth did you know something was wrong with me just on a few lines on email?\u201d I said, \u201cBecause I know you, I know how you talk, I know the words that you use, and I can just tell even by reading it that your tone was different.\u201d<\/p>\n Most of us on this call probably have children. Do you have intuition with your children? I can walk around the house and I have one son, he\u2019s seventeen, I can walk around the house and I can say, \u201cHey man, what\u2019s up?\u201d And he can say, \u201cHey, dad.\u201d And I can instantly know how he says \u201cHey, dad,\u201d if something\u2019s wrong, if he had a good day or a bad day.<\/p>\n How many of you people have been in a relationship, whether it\u2019s a spousal relationship, with your children, at work, whatever the case may be. You may be feeling a certain way and you can go all day, all evening, and they won\u2019t even notice that something is different about you. But that\u2019s intuition. When you get to know someone and you study them, you get a feel for them, you\u2019ll be able to detect things without the facts there.<\/p>\n As a leader, as an intuitive leader, that\u2019s the place you want to get with your people. You want to get to the point where you can instinctively feel something. Another reason, another way you can do this, and the book does talk about this, emotional intelligence. You know there is EQ and there\u2019s IQ. IQ is how smart you are. That will get you through school, but emotional intelligence, that will get you through your life. IQ is about the brain, EQ is about the heart.<\/p>\n Emotional intelligence, if you haven\u2019t heard of it, and most of you probably have, but if you haven\u2019t heard of it, it is simply the ability to understand and manage both your emotions and those around you. I believe this is essential for leaders. I mean, who is most likely to succeed as a leader? Someone who breaks down under pressure, yells, gets crazy, panics, stresses, or someone who remains calm during a crisis? Bettering your emotional intelligence can help you better connect with people, which in turn increases your intuitiveness with them.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll give you five ways to help you increase your emotional intelligence and connect better with the people around you. Number one is you need to be self-aware. You need to always know how you feel. You need to recognize how your feelings can impact a particular situation, being self-aware.<\/p>\n Recognizing that, you know what, I\u2019m really not in the mood right now for whatever reason to have a certain conversation with a certain person. So you don\u2019t proceed with that conversation and say some things that you wish you hadn\u2019t said or say some things that you need to say but not in the manner that you wanted to say them. Because your mood was already not one best suited for that situation.<\/p>\n So you have to be self-aware and recognize that your feelings and your mood does impact other people. The attitude and mood that you bring to the office, it does impact the people that you work with. Sometimes people say, \u201cWell you know, I\u2019m just not in the mood to be messing with people, I just want to be left alone today. I\u2019m not bothering anybody, I don\u2019t want anybody to bother me.\u201d Those people don\u2019t recognize just the mere fact that their mood is obviously different than what it normally is, that impacts the mood of the office.<\/p>\n So while they\u2019re thinking, \u201cI\u2019m not bothering anybody, why are these people asking me what\u2019s wrong and this and that?\u201d Because the way you\u2019re feeling is impacting other people, and that\u2019s what self-aware people do, they recognize that. So always know how you feel.<\/p>\n The second one, self-regulation. Discipline yourself, discipline your tongue, not making emotional decisions. There are very few decisions that have to be made right there at that second. If you are not in an emotional frame of mind to bring clarity to that situation and make an unbiased, objective decision, do it another time. But you have to have the ability to regulate yourself.<\/p>\n The third one is motivation. It\u2019s really hard to motivate people when you are not motivated yourself. It\u2019s almost impossible. So learn how to motivate yourself. A lot of times I will go to a seminar and put on a presentation on how to motivate employees and I\u2019ll do it, I like to do it. I love to do it.<\/p>\n But the fact of the matter is motivation comes from within, it really is. Now, you can demotivate someone very easily. But to just give them motivation is very difficult. So as a leader you\u2019re tasked with trying to keep your people motivated but the first thing you have to do is make sure that you are motivated.<\/p>\n The fourth one is empathy. That\u2019s the ability to at least understand what someone else is feeling. We\u2019ve heard the \u201cput yourself in my shoes,\u201d that\u2019s what empathy is, putting yourself in someone else\u2019s shoes. Empathy does not mean that you\u2019re always going to agree with the person, doesn\u2019t mean that at all. But it means that you at least have taken the time to try to see it from their perspective. Even if you would not feel the same way under the same circumstances, that does not mean that they\u2019re not entitled to feel the way they do.<\/p>\n Sometimes I think that we get impatient with people because they react to something totally different than we would and it frustrates us, but empathy doesn\u2019t get frustrated. Empathy says, you know even though I would not react this way, I\u2019m really trying to understand why you are reacting this way.<\/p>\n Empathy means you are paying attention to body language. We know that nonverbal communication is about sixty to eighty percent of all communication. So pay attention to people, you could be telling them something and they could be saying, \u201cYes, yes, I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n But if you are paying attention to them and you are looking at their body language, you can tell that they don\u2019t understand or they\u2019re not buying into what you are telling them. Don\u2019t ignore it, deal with it. \u201cI understand that you\u2019re saying yes to me, but I\u2019m getting the feeling that you\u2019re not really feeling this. Do you have any problems with it? Do you want to talk about it?\u201d Respond to people\u2019s feelings.<\/p>\n The fifth one is social skills. People will go along if you get along. We\u2019re human beings, it is easier for us to do things and follow people that we like than we don\u2019t. It\u2019s just a fact of life. Learn conflict resolution, learn how to appropriately deal with the confrontation or conflict. Improve your communication skills.<\/p>\n Learn how to praise other people, be happy for other people, be excited for other people. Be quick with your praise. If you do all of these things, it will increase your emotional intelligence. You will get a better feel for people and once you get a better feel for people, it will become easier to become intuitive about what\u2019s going on around you. That\u2019s going to help you be a better leader. Finally, the Law of Magnetism.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Will? On the self-regulation which I love what you\u2019re talking about, emotional intelligence, that\u2019s amazing. But on the self-regulation you said, \u201cDiscipline yourself and discipline your,\u201d what was the other thing?<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tongue, your mouth.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What is it?<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Your tongue, T-O-N-G-U-E<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tongue, your tongue, oh, got it. Okay.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sometimes we have to tame our mouths.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Gotcha, okay.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, sometimes, I think it was a saying that says, \u201cSometimes it\u2019s better to be thought of a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.\u201d Well sometimes we need to just be quiet.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, great.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, sometimes we need to just be quiet. So that\u2019s the part of self-regulation, is understanding when there\u2019s a time to talk and when there\u2019s a time to listen. We should do more listening than we do talking. That\u2019s why we have two ears and only one mouth. Okay?<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Perfect, okay, thanks.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 All right, anything else?<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No, nobody else raised their hand so I think we\u2019re good.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, well we\u2019ll move on to the final law for the day and that\u2019s the Law of Magnetism. I\u2019ll just tell you this, if some of you guys have the original book, some of these laws are different. Because I think in the original book, he had the Law of E.F Hutten, and I forgot what law that was. But this is the revised copy that we\u2019re doing right now. So if you go and buy it right now, you\u2019re going to get the revised copy but if you have a really old copy, it will probably be the original one with the Law of the E.F Hutten. You guys remember that? That\u2019s the investment broker that when he talks, everyone listens.<\/p>\n John revised some of these laws and most of them are still the same, but he revised a few of them. So if you\u2019re looking at something that you may have gotten from the internet or something and you say, \u201cWell this law is not in here or it\u2019s not in this order.\u201d That\u2019s why. There\u2019s an original copy and a revised copy. So we\u2019re going over the revised copy of the book.<\/p>\n At any rate, the Law of Magnetism, that\u2019s you are who you attract. Who you are is who you attract. It\u2019s that simple. You know effective leaders, they\u2019re always on the lookout for good people. You kind of carry around a mental list of the type of people that you want in your department.<\/p>\n I\u2019m reminded of a conversation that I had with a young lady in my office one day. We were talking about relationships. She was talking about the perfect man for her and she was listing all of these qualities that she was looking for. \u201cI want him to be good-looking. I want him to be financially stable, supportive, passionate, a good father,\u201d and on and on and on. So I asked her, \u201cLet me interrupt you for a minute and let me ask you a question.\u201d She said, \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n I said, \u201cDo you know your credit score?\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cWhat?\u201d I said, \u201cDo you know your credit score?\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cUm, no, I think it\u2019s okay.\u201d I said, \u201cYou think it\u2019s okay?\u201d Have you been able to get cars and this?\u201d She said, \u201cWell I don\u2019t think it\u2019s great, you know, I got a car and somebody had to cosign for me, but I think it\u2019s decent.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d I asked her several more questions.<\/p>\n So finally, she said, \u201cWhy are you asking me all these questions?\u201d I said, \u201cBecause I\u2019m just really puzzled.\u201d I said, \u201cYou\u2019re sitting here telling me the perfect man that you want for your life and so my question to you is, what are you going to bring to the table? If you have that perfect guy, what are you bringing to the table? You say you want somebody who is financially stable, but you\u2019re not financially stable, so why would he want to be with you?\u201d<\/p>\n I said, \u201cI\u2019m not trying to offend you. What I\u2019m trying to make you understand is, if you\u2019re looking for a certain type of person and you want a certain quality in a person, you have to be that yourself, you have to be that.\u201d It\u2019s the same thing with leadership.<\/p>\n If you want wonderful qualities in the people that you work with, people that may be under your authority, you want them to get along well with others, you want them to be great team players, you want them to be motivated, you want them to have great attitudes. You want these things. You have to make sure that you have these things and that you are bringing them to the table. Because we attract who we are, not who we want.<\/p>\n You just look around your circle. Look around the circle of the people that you hang out with. You know, Maxwell, in the book, he asks us to write the qualities, the list of qualities of the people that we would want to work with. So when you have time, I think you should do that. Write down the qualities. If I had an organization, or if I was starting my own business, or even right now if I have my own business, these are the qualities and the people that I want to hire. These are the qualities in the people that I want to work with me.<\/p>\n Then you make another list of the people who do work with you and list their qualities. See how big a match it is. Then you go back to that list, you go back to that list of the qualities that you desire in people and you ask yourself, how many of these qualities do I possess? Because if there\u2019s not a lot of matches, then you are going to realize you\u2019re not probably going to get those people. Because those people are not going to voluntarily want to follow you because you don\u2019t have the qualities that they have.<\/p>\n If you want people with good attitudes but you have a bad attitude, people with good attitudes don\u2019t want to be around people with bad attitudes. I think that\u2019s really a great cause of dissension in many relationships, any kind of relationship. Whether it\u2019s a friendship, whether it\u2019s an intimate relationship, a work relationship, we want people to do the things that we are not doing ourselves.<\/p>\n See as the leader, if you want someone who has a winning attitude, you have to have a winning attitude yourself, you have to. Because most organizations, groups, companies, departments, they attract individuals who are similar to them. There\u2019s some things that people look at, they look at generation. People tend to hire people in their age group, right around kind of their age group. If you go to a company that is owned by a young CEO or a young entrepreneur you will see the kind of people working there, they\u2019re typically younger people.<\/p>\n Consequently, on the same note, someone who is older, they relate better to older people. That\u2019s who they\u2019ll tend to want to be around and hire, people with similar attitudes. You rarely see positive and negative people hang around each other because positive people, they annoy negative people. They\u2019re always upbeat. They\u2019re always excited.<\/p>\n I remember when I was in the army, I\u2019m in Korea, it\u2019s freezing, below zero temperatures. I\u2019m nineteen years old, a Texan, wondering why am I there. One of the guys in our tent was a morning person, and he would jump up at 5:00 in the morning talking, singing, laughing, talking, just drove us crazy. He was too positive for that time of day. Nobody should be positive at 5:30 in the morning when it\u2019s below zero, that\u2019s just not normal. He annoyed us and we annoyed him.<\/p>\n You see, negative people suck the life out of positive people, they do. You\u2019re excited about things, you\u2019re excited about life, you\u2019re excited about opportunities and you\u2019re around somebody who just wants to talk about how bad things are all the time. Do you have them in your life? You know who they are, the pity party people, every time you talk to them.<\/p>\n Are there people that when your phone rings you look at the caller ID and you say, \u201cNo, not today, I don\u2019t have the energy for this person.\u201d Because they are going to bring you down, they are going to suck the life out of you because they have something negative to say about somebody or some situation. If you keep associating with these people and hanging around them, they will affect your attitude.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why, if you have an organization, if you have employees, you have people you work with, you have a bad attitude in there? You better deal with it, don\u2019t ignore it. They will eventually affect other people and run them off.<\/p>\n Background. We tend to be attracted to people with similar backgrounds. We\u2019re comfortable with people who are more like us. We tend to stay around and spend most of the time with people who are like us. That\u2019s why people, most of the time, spend time with people of their own race on their social time. It\u2019s not a racial thing, it\u2019s a comfortability thing. Similar backgrounds, you feel more comfortable with people you\u2019re similar with. People who are educated tend to associate with people with educational backgrounds. We tend to go with what we know.<\/p>\n Values. We attract people whose values are similar to ours. You don\u2019t find many pro-social people spending a lot of time with anti-social people. You don\u2019t find a lot of drug addicts spending a whole lot of time with people who don\u2019t use drugs. We tend to want to be around people who appreciate and value the same things that we do. It doesn\u2019t have to be exactly the same.<\/p>\n Later on when we talk about the Law of the Inner Circle, we\u2019re going to talk about why it\u2019s important to have some people who have some differences from you in your circle, but for right now I\u2019m just talking about these are the things that attract people to us.<\/p>\n People with energy, wired up people, anybody know anybody who\u2019s just wired up all the time, just hyperactive? If you\u2019re not that person, it drives you crazy. They make you tired just looking at them. You just want to tell them, \u201cSit down somewhere, you\u2019re making me tired.\u201d You may have some children like that, just Energizer bunnies, running around all the time. People who like that, they like to hang around with people like that because other people, us normal people, we don\u2019t have time to be running around all day long. We want to sit down sometimes. So they don\u2019t like to hang around us. They want to hang around other Energizer bunnies.<\/p>\n Giftedness. Gifted people do not look for average, ordinary people to follow, they don\u2019t do it. They are attracted to talent. As a leader, if you want someone who is highly talented and gifted to follow you, you need to make sure that you possess some of those traits. If you don\u2019t possess all of them and you hide them to kind of extenuate your weaknesses that\u2019s fine, but you make sure that you appreciate the giftedness that they\u2019re bringing to the table.<\/p>\n Finally, leadership ability. If you\u2019re a seven in your leadership, we talked about the Law of the Lid and how you can measure what your lid is, if you\u2019re a seven, you really, really, don\u2019t want to work for a six or a five. If you\u2019re a seven and you\u2019re hiring people you don\u2019t want to hire a bunch of twos or threes, you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n As you grow as leader, you will find yourself wanting to be surrounded by people who are growing with you in leadership, people who have similar ability, skillsets, or even greater than yours. That\u2019s why mastermind groups are so important. They\u2019re so beneficial. Because you\u2019re surrounding yourself with people whose abilities are on par with yours, sometimes better, sometimes a little less, but you\u2019re all trying to grow in that same direction.<\/p>\n Like I said earlier, we\u2019re going to talk about the Law of the Inner Circle and you have to make sure that you have people around you to balance the team. Because if everybody is strong in the same area and weak in the same area, you\u2019re going to be very unbalanced. But for the most part, if you would just look at your life, look at your circle, you will see that most people that you associate with you have a lot in common with.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re leading a team, you have to recognize that your team is an extension of you, they are. You set the culture, you are responsible for it. Sports teams are an extension of their head coach. They take on the personality of the coach. That\u2019s why when a team is not doing well they replace the coach and not the players. You have to change the personality on top.<\/p>\n I\u2019m a huge Texas Longhorns fan, I like Mack Brown, but the fact of the matter is, Texas has a reputation lately of having a soft football team. If you look at Mack Brown, Mack Brown is a very genuine, likeable guy. I could see him teaching the leadership stuff just like I can in John Maxwell. Mack Brown has that personality.<\/p>\n When you talk to the players that go to that team, what do they like most about the school? They like the family atmosphere. They like the genuineness. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t cuss us, he treats us well.\u201d That\u2019s fine, that\u2019s wonderful. I would have no problem with my son going there. But if you look at a team like Alabama, you look at their coach, Nick Saban. Nick Saban has never been accused of being gentle and soft and sweet. He\u2019s a great coach, it\u2019s just not his personality.<\/p>\n The players who go to Alabama, they want to be coached by a coach like that. You don\u2019t hear Alabama\u2019s culture that their team is soft, you hear that their team is physical, that their team is disciplined, that their team is rugged, which is why they\u2019ve won two National Championships in a row. It is not a slight on Mack Brown. It\u2019s a different style.<\/p>\n The point I\u2019m making is that the coach\u2019s personality sets the tone for the personality of those teams. So if you ever want to grow an organization, you have to grow the leader because the leader is going to set the tone, the personality, for those teams. So if you find yourself surrounded by unreliable, untrustworthy people, the first place you\u2019ll want to look is at yourself.<\/p>\n We attract who we are. It\u2019s those kind of people that you find yourself surrounded with, then you may have to make some changes and grow yourself a little bit. You can change the people you are attracting by changing yourself. That\u2019s all I have for you today, ladies and gentlemen.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thank you so much. I do have another question. At the very beginning when you were going through, you said there were six ways to, I think, to help you gain respect, six qualities to help you gain respect.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, ma\u2019am.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Can you say those again?<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, your natural leadership abilities is one, respect for others, courage, success. Having success, people like success. Loyalty, being a loyal person, and the last one is adding value to others.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If you do these six things on a regular basis, it will help you increase your respect and gain respect as a leader.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, thank you.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n Allison:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thank you so much, Will.<\/p>\n Will:\u00a0 Thank you.<\/p>\n Thanks for listening to Practicing with the Masters<\/em> for dentists, with your host, Dr. Allison Watts. For more about how Allison Watts and Transformational Practices can help you create a successful and fulfilling practice and life, visit transformationalpractices.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/div> <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Once again, returning to share John C. Maxwell\u2019s next 3 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership is certified speaker, trainer and coach, Will Bess. This week, Will teaches\u00a0us about laws 7-9 and their importance to our development as leaders. Starting with the Law of Respect, Will teaches us that people naturally follow leaders who are stronger than […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[303],"tags":[309,305,304,307],"yoast_head":"\n![\"Allison's-Button\"](\"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/transformational-practices-llc\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1587010383\/Allisons-Button\/Allisons-Button.jpg?_i=AA)
<\/a><\/p>\nThe 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership with Will Bess Part 3<\/h3>\n
CLICK HERE TO READ THE TRANSCRIPT (9,052 WORDS )<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n
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